Panic buy: A cliché too far

9:00am Friday 9th May 2008

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PANIC: A sudden and infectious fear or unreasoning terror. Panic-buy: without doubt the worst, most infuriating, mindless, teeth-gnawingly irritating journalistic cliché of modern times: a lazy, hackneyed turn of phrase that should bring with it an immediate fixed penalty notice.

Either that or a well aimed poke in the eye with a very sharp stick.

Unless you've been living on the moon for the last week you'll doubtless be aware of the possible consequences of the growing industrial unrest at one of the UK's biggest oil refineries.

Was, then, my Saturday morning visit to a garage forecourt to fill up my thirsty Peugeot 206 a) an act of "unreasoning terror", or b) an entirely rational, calculated decision? Were the fellow motorists doing likewise an angry, boggle-eyed mob clawing at each other's eyes for the last drop of unleaded.or merely a typical, level headed cross-section of British society?

I think (or at least hope for the common good of man and my sanity) that the good readers of the Watford Observer will reach the same decision as me.

A couple of other definitions for you to mull over Panic monger: one who starts panic. Step forward the Great British media.

Rip off: £56 for a tank of diesel. Step forward Mr Brown and Mr Darling.

IF you're as fed up as me as chucking pile-after pile of party political campaign literature straight in the bin whoops. I mean, of course, the recycling box I sincerely hope you will appreciate the following, rather unusual, campaign tool - a local election song by the Conservative Chorleywood West candidate Bob Arthy.

The somewhat unimaginably titled ditty Local Election Time mightn't be worth a place at number one, but it is definitely worth a listen.

As for how successful it has been, the lead time for this page (Tuesday) means I haven't a clue. Why not judge for yourselves.

1,2,..1,2,3,4..

It's local election time..VOTE ARTHY. It's local election timeVOTE ARTHY Whether red white or blue it's all up to you. It's local election time This verse, believe it or not, is then repeated about ten times; enough (by a very long way) for you never to want to hear it again. Mind you, if Bob who I'm sure will take this in the spirit it was intended has failed in his quest for a council seat he could always sell his work to the CIA.

A day or two in the company of Local Election Time will have even the most reticent of Guantanamo Bay detainees singing like canaries. Whether or not they'll wish to vote Conservative afterwards, however, is less clear.

Also less clear is just what party is white?

Answers on a postcard please.

Motherhood, as any proud mum will doubtless agree, is a taxing business.

For new mum and Watford MP Claire Ward things seem little different.

Indeed, the business of changing nappies, filling bottles, etc, etc, appears so taxing to Ms Ward that it leaves absolutely no time to answer some of our more (shall we say) taxing questions 10p tax questions to be precise.

When the Watford Observer approached Ms Ward last week for a brief chat about her Government's controversial policy, we were told by her spokesman that, because she was on maternity leave, we would have to make do with a standard letter sent to constituents.

Answers as to why the Labour Party whip, instrumental in the Parliamentary decision making process, would wish to avoid difficult questions about her Government's spectacular own-goal are welcome (again) on a postcard.

Here, of course, we accepted her reticence with customary good grace.

Eyebrows were raised, however, on Tuesday when a press release reached us detailing Ms Ward's lengthy Saturday visit to Radlett Road's Watford Rugby Club, where she apparently dished out the awards at a tag rugby festival hosted by the Saracens.

And we only wanted a minute or two of her time.